1-14-13- 7 a.m.

Day 21 of this nightmare, still dealing with Stage #1 and #2 of the emotions. Its hard to understand when doctors get excited about Cameron finally getting to a calm state for a brief period when he is on 4 times the normal levels of drugs. When his Phenobarbital level is 105 and the safe level is 40, when the normal adult level for Versed is 12mg per hour and he is at 150mg per hour, and when 40 mg per hour of Ketamine is safe but he is at 350mg per hour. So excuse me for not running down the halls jumping for joy, lets remember that the levels he is at can only sustainded for a short period of time. I am tired of people telling me it's going to be alright, that what we're seeing on his EEG isn't Seizure Activity when two of the N urology Teams say it is. One thing I know for sure is that last time at day 21 Cameron was already recovering at a fast rate. All I want now is to start that process again so my anger will change to joy.